Color Me Dad

As far as celebrations go, I’m positive towards very few, as I keep reiterating whenever one comes around – they make me aware of some highly uncomfortable realities. Birthdays? That’s one year closer to a midlife crisis. Labor Day? We’re all faceless spokes in the grand wheels of capitalism. Valentine’s Day? Everybody will end up cold and alone eventually, Rita. Cold and alone.

I’ve always kept this attitude away from Fathers’ Day. It’s a nice enough appreciation of the mostly unsung half of human reproduction. I can dig it. In recent Read More »


An Ode To The Year Formerly Known As Ours

I have stated before that I care little for the festivities that accompany the transition into a new year, but this last one was a definite exception. I could not contain myself: Yelling at fireworks, rambling to strangers about mistletoe, praying silently, weeping uncontrollably after looking at a calendar – it was a wondrous night of merriment and good riddance to a lot of bad rubbish.

For someone whose entire outlook on the world is influenced by news headlines, 2016 was a horrible year. Sure, some economies are improving as I hear from my friends who cross their legs while reading newspapers, but if it doesn’t trend on social media, I won’t know about it. All I’m aware of is seemingly nonstop cans getting kicked, from

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Snapchat Me That Lecture

The school I go to has giant scales welded onto the gate, a nauseatingly banal symbol for justice. At first, I didn’t like it because it was kitsch and reminded me of the poetry I used to write when I was fifteen. It wasn’t until several months later I realized, from three stories high, that there’s a large charred Read More »

Something: Year One

Creating a blog on a whim can be quite the experience, especially when you don’t know what to do with it, much less why you did it in the first place. Maybe it’s because you’re compelled to tell stories that cannot be limited to 140 characters or less. Maybe it’s because a solid ten asked if you write, and you’re not the type of person that says no to a ten, especially when they text first. But you did. You settled for a blog name you hadn’t planned on, published your first post, sat back and waited for the Pulitzer Prize Board to give you a call.

However, since an early age, all you ever wanted to do was traipse through Europe with a troupe of skinny bi-curious women as a director of the ballet, thus instead of endless adoration (or criticism), what follows is skepticism from people who know you, which is understandable. Before the blog, the closest you came to literature was

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Winston MacGrath

When I’m seated in front of a television scrolling through the channels while my mother screams into my ears to put on some clothes and get out of the house every once in a while before inactivity causes me to sprout roots and turn into a literal couch potato, I sometimes stumble upon a documentary in an effort to avoid awkwardly landing on any stations that might be playing Nicki Minaj music videos at the time. I may find a documentary on birds, but I may also find one about a historical icon. If I decide to watch the latter, sometimes I’m left with a certain feeling in my fists, the kind that makes me want to find a cause and Braveheart a little. Of course, I doubt I have the eloquence to rally the masses against oppression or the patience to spend 27 years in prison for my country, but I’m definitely sparking revolutions in my own small ways. Like stepping on the grass, public urination near government buildings or how, a while back, I made history by becoming the very first personRead More »

Me Robot, You Jane

I hear people just concluded celebrating some holiday the other day. I hear they dedicated a long weekend to remembering the public flogging and execution of a man with superpowers who then came back to life less than a week later in non-zombie form, leaving me to wonder why this hasn’t been adapted into several movies and video games where he goes after his oppressors for revenge. Why isn’t there KillRead More »

Heat, Heat, Hooray!

Did you catch the Oscars? Big night. Lots going on. If I were to put down my thoughts on the whole thing, I’d need a separate dedicated site. But I cannot ignore the highlight of the event, which was Leonardo DiCaprio’s win. After all these years, they finally decided to give the man his award. Caught everyone off guard. I mean, his competition was the very baity Bryan Cranston playing a blacklisted screenwriter suspected of being a communist in the 1950s and 60s, Eddie Redmayne as the transgender center of a romantic film, Matt Damon as a witty scientist stranded alone on Mars and Michael Fassbender as Steve Jobs. Dicaprio’s character merely ate raw fish. He had failed to win in previous years with critic/Academy favorites James Cameron, Martin Scorsese, Christopher Nolan or Quentin Tarantino. Things weren’t looking good. ButRead More »

I, Ipkiss

Boring people sometimes say boring things like “Love is in the air”. People who are even more boring counter this with things like “No, oxygen, carbon dioxide and nitrogen are in the air,” because they think it’s funny and witty. Whatever the literal or metaphorical composition, on this evening, there is certainly disappointment and the aroma of cloves in the air. It’s a Sunday evening, our hero is in a rather brightly-lit restaurant with hisRead More »

Doomed To Repeat It

Going through the month of January is much like walking barefoot on a bed of red-hot coal. Unless you’ve undergone years of hard training (in the ancient art of being cheap) under the watchful eye of a sensei in the mountains of Tibet, it’s a pain. Said pain is caused by the occurrence of multiple holidays so close to each other that eventually lead up to a new year, which humanity still celebrates for some reason despite the fact that it has been through many of them. The exact number varies depending on whether you align yourself with an invisible, probably bearded man in the sky or a bearded man that died in England one hundred and thirty years ago. That makes anywhere between six thousand and four billion new years.

Why is Humanity still excited by this? Who knows?

Welcome to another exciting episode of January, whereRead More »

What A Time To Be Confused

If you’re anything like me, you know nothing about relationshipes beyond the spelling. You wouldn’t know romance if it got on one knee and proposed in front of friends and family after a candle-lit dinner. Your two cents on the matter is, appropriately, “Relationships are expensive, man, save your money”. The only thing you believe should be cradled affectionately in your arms at night is a laptop as you binge-watch House of Cards.

It happens that one evening, you find yourself in a classroomRead More »